Area Man Enraged His Media Doesn't Match His Politics


According to Mark Houston there's a war being waged against his culture--specifically his media idols and properties he has liked for decades. The attack is coming from the "social justice left" and has beachheads in places like Star Wars, Marvel Comics, multiple computer games, and some of his favorite media stars.

"I watched Taylor Swift go after the White House and America. I had to put up with resting-bitch-face Captain Marvel because they needed to virtue-signal-the-girls. They're making Thor a woman. I heard James Bond might be black--and now? I just heard Bon Jovi is getting woke. It's the last straw: these artists owe me--a fan--a debt. They wouldn't be where they are without us and now they're turning on us just to satisfy liberals? I'm disgusted. They need to go broke. They get woke--they need to go broke--you'll see."

Questions to Taylor Swift's publicist about Mark Houston indicated the artist had no idea who he was and that if he "tried to collect a debt" the would be challenged in court.

Houston said that he was enraged to see movies like Marvel's Infinity War breaking box-office records or the new MCU line-up that featured even more female characters. He said he wouldn't be able to listen to Bon Jovi or Taylor Swift anymore without feeling betrayed.

"They took away my video games because they weren't friendly enough for girls," he said. "Then they took my comic heroes and my movie franchises. Next they're going to get all the music. What will ever be enough? Do they have to take everything?" his voice quivered.

Upon inspection, it was discovered that his favorite franchise, Call of Duty, was still producing games, that the Star Wars movies had differing levels of reception but were largely considered either critical or popular successes, and that the musical artists in question seemed to be doing what they actually thought was right rather than what they believed their audience demanded.

Jon Bon Jovi was alarmed to be told he owed a debt to Houston.

"I don't know the man," Bon Jovi told us via telephone. "What does he say he did for me? He bought my albums? I'm not sure why he thinks I'm supposed to pay him for that. Is this a real interview or a collections call?"

It remains to be seen if Disney recognizes its debt to Houston or if he will have to take the media giant to court as well.

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