Trump-Voter 'Pretty Sure' Candidate Ron Desantis Would Let Trump F*ck His Wife

Trump voter Brad Wilson of Orlando Florida knows who he'll vote for in the August 28th Primary: Trump-Endorsed candidate Ron Desantis. He knows very little about the other candidates or, indeed, Desantis himself, but he knows one thing:

"Desantis loves Trump," he says. "And Trump endorsed Desantis--and that's good enough for me." Wilson pointed to the recently released viral ad "Casey" where the Florida candidate's wife talks about how much her husband loves Trump. In the tongue-in-cheek ad, Ron Desantis works with his young daughter to "build a wall" (out of toy blocks), to learn to read (with a Trump yard sign), and so on.

The voiceover, done by his wife, Mrs. Casey Desantis lauds her husband for his loyalty and single-minded attention to the president.

"I'm pretty sure," Wilson said admiringly, "that Mr. Desantis would let Trump fuck her." He nodded at the screen. "Sure, the ad is kind of jokey--but you can see it there. If Mr. Trump wanted to--and I think Casey is a little old for him--but she's still a fine looking girl--I think he'd say okay."

Asked if he thought Mrs. Desantis would agree to conjugal relations with the president, Wilson seemed surprised. "'Course she would. Hell, I would. I mean, I'm not gay or anything--'course not--but I'd let him do me. Man is an American Icon--a hero. If he wanted to fuck me I guess I'd let him. Anyway, she's Mr. Desantis' wife--so it's his call, I reckon."

Observers say that the bar for obsequiousness has been raised by Mr. Desantis' ad.

"In this environment," said David Wellman of the Snook Political Report, "Mr. Trump has the base led by the nose--they trust him, revere him--almost worship him. In the race to see who can be the most adoring of the president, Desantis has set a new level. If a candidate tries to top it we'll probably need a visual of him or her on their hands and knees for the president to step on exiting Marine One [ the presidential helicopter ] or sending their children to indentured servitude in Ivanka's clothing factories. Something like that."

Mr. Desantis did not respond immediately to a question about whether or not he would offer his wife to sleep with Donald Trump, but the intern who answered the phone told us quietly "not to give him any more ideas."