Independents Ask: 'Could That Guy Beat Up Rand Paul Again?'


After what was termed a "disgraceful" meeting between Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin, Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) came out for President Donald Trump saying that his meeting was fine--that the criticism was due to personal dislike.

Rand Paul, a libertarian Republican with an isolationist bent, felt that President Trump was doing a good job of keeping the peace by what many saw as subservient behavior towards an adversarial power. Growing over social media, the call went out to Rand Paul's neighbor Rene Boucher to "please help us out again."

Rene Boucher, a dentist living next door to the Senator, pleaded guilty to a Nov 3 assault that left Paul with broken ribs and an arm and neck brace. The attack, apparently based on a gardening dispute, was the subject of much speculation about the political differences the men had.

Now, in the wake of Paul's standing up for Trump's Russia presser, the question was "could you--uh--could you do that again?"

Larry Minos of Illinois, a registered independent, told us: "Look, I've been kinda libertarian my whole life--but this guy just infuriates me. I'm happy to send over, like a baseball bat or something. I don't want him killed--just kick his ass, you know?"

Jocelyn Forest of Minnesota felt similarly. "I've gone back and forth in my political life--but this opportunistic display of moral cowardice is just more than I can bare. If that neighbor guy could give Paul a swift kick in the nuts, I think it might do this country some good."

A GoFundMe was started and then canceled due to the site's prohibition against violence, but donors had apparently flooded the site from both within the US and from Ukraine.

"We know Mr. Trump is a Russian asset," said Viktor Ulgrolof of Ukraine's foreign ministry. "But to see a long-serving Senator prostrate himself like that for slight edge in his next election? I threw in twenty American dollars and asked for a bruised kidney."

For his part, Rand Paul seemed unwilling to forcibly address the issue. Stating through an intermediary that he was "Totally not afraid of Mr. Boucher but felt that his innate pacifism meant that he could not meet his neighbor in any kind of conflict--verbal or physical. He also claimed to have 'hurt his back' when lifting."

When contacted, Mr. Boucher had not heard about the requests, stated unequivocally that he had no plans to "beat that pussy up again," and advised non-violent solutions to political differences and, even, gardening and landscaping disputes.

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