Young Conservative Author Makes Stunning Breakthrough In Right-Wing Thought

Rebeka Hall, Senior at Holly Cross University in Kansas let the world know she had made an amazing breakthrough in conservative thought.

"This theory--a unified theory of sociology--will challenge our greatest leaders and thinkers like never before. We know that the nation and even Western Civilization has entered a state of decline--but until now it was never clear what the cause was or what to do about it. I have changed that. This theory offers proof that the cause of the degeneration of American society and the American social-networks was caused by women's liberation."

"Starting with the female vote and then with birth control, the limits that God and biology had enforced on mankind were lifted by the dual-headed snake of science and hedonism. This is absolutely provable and irrefutable mathematically. What transpired next was the advent of so-called No-Fault Divorce which broke the bonds of and therefor the sacrament of marriage."

"Today a mathematically-false message of liberal/lesbian female empowerment is fed to our young girls by the mechanism of the state and its tentacles of Hollywood Dogmatic Entertainment. I can show this, easily--it's all in the white paper."

Published on the Internet by CommonSense Politics, Ms. Hall's theory failed to generate the expected excitement or spread.

"I think it's too radical," she said. "Too much of a stress on an already overburdened conservative theory-space. I'm sure there are people for whom this revelatory information is just difficult to process. I feel in my heart that I have made a lot of formerly self-satisfied people very angry--very uncomfortable--with these truths."

When told that her theory was identical in all parts to standard conservative dogma such as the manifesto published by Norway mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik she explained that her theory was far different because it used a mathematical proof-structure as a basis. She also claimed that as she had felt guidance in her work it was impossible that she could be re-producing what the killer of 77 people, mostly children had also espoused.

When shown that the same theories were used by many people, mostly Men's Rights Activists who felt that their inability to find a mate was due to societal decline rather than any failings on their part, she became defensive, offering that "it could be true" until shown a picture of Roosh V, which repulsed her.

Disturbed and upset, she returned to the drawing-board working on an article that would assert, without evidence or proof, that American's overly easy access to health insurance was responsible for the societal decline she saw promoted on conservative TV--but had never actually experienced personally.