Trump: Deport Most Sympathetic DACA Recipients To Show I'm Serious!
Sources inside the White House confirm that president Trump, facing a steady decline in approval ratings has hit upon a time-tested formula for rallying his base: a reality-TV style spectacle where an illegal immigrant is deported with a great deal of fanfare to a country they may never have known.
Tentatively titled The DACA Deportee and re-using the logo from The Apprentice, Mr. Trump has asked for a short-list of DACA recipients who are either heroic or sympathetic to be the first to be forcibly removed from America under ICE Escort.
Said a source close to the planning:
"We've got Harvey rescue workers, enlisted military, a very pretty doctoral student, a high school valedictorian who was outed by online harassers--but the one I'm most excited about is one of the rare Asian DACA girls! She's light-skinned, very pretty, and if she is sent home to a totalitarian regime, at a time when the US is involved in an international crisis? They might make an example of her! That's ratings. I tell you, the President is very excited about that."
The source noted that one of the subjects was actually dead--killed while rescuing flood victims--however, they noted that even with that, there was potential.
"His grandmother can't come to the funeral--she's in MEDICO! [ laughter ]. So we could have interviews with grieving grandparents--maybe show some of the people he pulled out of the drink. If one of them is a White Nationalist, maybe we could get some words about bringing America back together--after all the illegal invaders are gone. You know, Mr. Trump's instincts on this are very good and he thinks it could work."
Observers noted that "Christina," the Asian DACA recipient, was a rare find.
"Most Asians don't sign up for DACA because they understand that registering with the government is a vulnerability," said immigration expert Loren Fishlam. "Additionally, in their communities, it is a loss of status to admit that you are in the country illegally. Many Latinos are currently wishing they had not trusted the American government to take care of them--they're going to pay the price for that misplaced faith."
Other experts agreed that the DACA Deportee would have excellent ratings--and could further solidify Mr. Trump with his base.
"If you look at Trump's policy moves," said Ethan Medelsen, an expert on domestic policy with the Cato Institute, "we see that DACA is dead-center of Mr. Trump's sweet-spot*. It feeds white anger and alienation, upsets liberals, and undoes a signature Obama policy. At a time when the Trump administration is facing multiple natural disasters, a tricky debt-ceiling increase, and an attempt to do a complicated Tax Reform, taking something like this and expanding media coverage is a good way to buttress his polling floor."