Conservative Activist Group Targets Adorable Dogs For TERMINATION!
Media Equalizer, a conservative activist group dedicated to vengeance in the wake of liberal successes of the Sleeping Giants and the Media-Matters campaign against Breitbart, The Rebel, Bill O'Reilly, and Sean Hannity, have targeted the beloved WeRateDogs Twitter Account, which made the terminal mistake early this morning of selling a "Covfefe" cap and donating the proceeds to Planned Parenthood.
The move--outraging conservatives and provoking swift-backlash, drew an apology from the beleaguered Dog Rating Service--but Media Equalizer's conservative founders Maloney and Melanie Morgan determined it was not enough.
"The liberals got O'Reilly for serial groping of women for which Fox paid out millions of dollars in hush-money. Never satisfied, they went after Breitbart--a stalwart conservative outlet that committed the crime of pushing stories that point out the fact that women on birth control are crazy and ugly. Next we see them turning their culture-war on Sean Hannity for daring to question the truth about the Seth Rich political assassination. His family--with their crocodile tears begging him to stop using their son's name is the epitome of liberal viscosity [sic]."
"If we don't strike back, we cede ground--and this is a civil war. This is a civil war, people. They take one of ours out? We have to take two of theirs. Right now we're like three or four behind. That means DOG RATES HAS TO GO!"
The group indicated that they did not know exactly how they would destroy DogRates as it had no advertisers--but they found the idea of giving its soon-to-be-published book a slew of 1-star reviews was a good start. "We can't lose this," Melanie Morgan said. "This is a battle for the soul of America. We're on the front-lines. We've lost some good soldiers. I mean, I know I'd let President Trump grope--grab me by the--you know--anyone would. The idea that we're getting heat for this is purely political. It requires a political response." She clenched her fist. "Those 'good dogs'--they're getting PUT TO SLEEP."
So long, WeRateDogs. This reporter will miss you.