ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SINISTER HAPPENS DURING TRUMP'S SAUDI ARABIA VISIT
Despite concerns about Trump's speech on Islam, discord at home over the Russian investigation and Comey firing, and general difficulties the fledgling administration has had with planning and execution, sources report that NOTHING SINISTER happened during the first leg of president Trump's trip.
Money was raised for women's initiatives for a fund that was inspired by Ivanka--but is not managed by her. First lady Meliana did not wear a head-scarf, as other first ladies have not--and she received rave reviews from Saudi press. The event, Trump's first outside of the US, was deemed successful, on-target and WITHOUT OMINOUS IMPORT OR SYMBOLIC MYSTERY.
The second leg of the trip, underway now, brings the president to Israel and then, later, to the Vatican. Donald Trump, although tired from the travel, is said to be in good spirits and looking forward to furthering his Middle East agenda. HE IS CONFIRMED TO BE FULLY IN CHARGE OF HIS FACULTIES AND IS NOT POSSESSED BY ANY ALIEN OR BIBLICAL SPIRIT.