The White House Denials--Scored by LieCat!


Yesterday at 5:01 PM the Washington Post dropped a political MOAB: Trump, apparently bragging to the Russians about great his "Intel" was inadvertently leaked Top Secret ("Codeword") information about ISIS operations given to us by an ally (maybe now an erstwhile ally?). The White House spun into damage control mode as the story leaked and General McMaster was dispatched to issue a non-denial denial on the White House lawn.

Fortunately, anticipating the move, we obtained the services of Lie Cat--an intergalactic alien cat able to telepathically detect the intent to lie. Here is how Lie Cat scored the (very short) press conference.

The story that came out tonight, as reported, is false.

The president and foreign minister reviewed a range of common threats to our two countries including threats to civil aviation.

At no time … were intelligence sources or methods discussed. And the president did not disclose any military operations that were not publicly known.

I was in the room, it didn’t happen.

Our sources were quick to indicate that Lie Cat works off of intent--so while McMaster was probably technically telling the truth, his attempts to mislead by using ambiguous pronouns ("It") and deceptive specifics ("as reporter") counted as lies. This means that while Trump did not specifically disclose sources and methods, he almost certainly did reveal Top Secret-level intel.

Unfortunately, after searching the reaches of intergalactic space for a creature that could help us thread the needle of truth through the eye of dishonesty, everything was rendered pointless when Russia denied any leakage of sensitive material, tripping the "Don't believe anything until Moscow denies it" axiom.

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