Breitbart: 'Fuck--We May Need To Spin This As Time Travel.'


The White House isn't the only leaky ship on the national political waters. Our source inside Breitbart.com indicates that in their frenzy to spin the Comey memo as some ploy of Obama, a ruse by the "lugenpresse" (German for Lying Media), or distract with Seth Ritch conspiracies, they have tested resorting to time travel.

The above page, quickly removed, was part of A-B testing by the editorial staff trying to determine what their readers would believe.

"We can sell just about anything," our source said. "So long as it's pro-Trump--racist--but not, you know--not too racist--and re-affirms their victimhood at the hands of liberals. The problem here is that while nobody liked Comey, if those memos come to light we're going to have complete narrative collapse."

"We need a story that can possibly explain how Comey, back in time, might have those memos without it reflecting badly on Trump. That's a tall order."

He shook his head. "Look, we sold Russia as friendlies, Republicans as principled, and liberals as crazy. Actually that last one was true. But this . . ." he shook his head. "Our constituents look to us to provide arguments for their online battles. This is a hard one. Bannon is freaking out over there saying that boy-scout Comey probably did keep all these stupid notes. He's that kind of autistic or something. If that's true . . .we're fucked."

Test showed, he said, that the witch-craft story was selling with the late-night demographic which was "mostly basement kids who can't get sexual satifaction that involves actual breathing females." The text was deemed "a little too accurate"--but the staff felt that with some pseudo-science and out-right denial they could make the sale through Thursday after which Trump would depart to the Middle East and an entirely new set of scandals.

Recommended Reading

World News Daily

Truth Feed

Angry Patriot

How To Meet Women

Make Money From Home

Search By Tags
fuck.png
51M8gLwy30L._SX425_.jpg