Sen. Ted Cruz Angered Over "Cultural Theft" In Government Shutdown

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) might seem an unlikely voice to speak against "cultural appropriation"--but today he sounded the alarm bells over the idea that the Democrats, refusing to sign on to a budget-deal that includes money for Trump's Wall would lead to a government shutdown.

"Government Shutdowns are part of the Republican Culture," Cruz said to his audience, speaking at the Pasco Tx. Wings & Wibs Diner, "We are the party of opposition--the part of 'Hell No.' For Democrats to steal from our culture--to force a shutdown because our spending priorities do not align with theirs--is cultural theft of the highest order."

He called on progressive leaders to stand with him against what he described as "imperialist cultural hegemony."

"When a more-powerful culture," Cruz explained, "borrows the trappings of a less powerful, more oppressed culture, that is the definition of Cultural Appropriation--and it is wrong. Republicans are an oppressed people. Our language has been banned by the PC police, our celebrations--such as saying 'Merry Christmas' are illegal in most shopping centers and malls. Our media is beset by legal attacks over so-called sexual harassment, and our seats in government are contested at every turn."

"The Democratic machine controls the airwaves, the press, and almost all Hollywood stories--not to mention just about every academic institution. For them to take this away--to co-opt the quixotic government shutdown--is a final act of malice that we must protest and prevent. Government Shutdowns when our priorities are not fully and completely catered to is a Republican idea--and it must remain so."

Asked if he was concerned if the Republicans would take the lion's-share of the blame should the government cease to function, Cruz was certain they would.

"First you have the biased media," Cruz said. "They only have one play in their book--and that's blame Republicans--but secondly, you have the raw facts of the matter. In theory we all want things like national parks and such to function--so it would seem to the average naive American that with a large swath of agreement we could pass a so-called 'clean bill' and keep the government opened--while addressing controversial areas, such as a massive border wall, in separate bills--"

"--but if we do that, what leverage will we have to bend the Democrats to our will? You see? Without a hostage there can be no honest negotiation. Plus, to be honest, we don't really care too much about most of government and our voters don't understand the impacts of a shutdown--heck, they were willing to let us blow the debt ceiling, which would be a disaster, but our messaging convinced them it'd be fine!"

"So, yes--I am concerned that our attempts to put so-called deal-breakers into a budget and then try to play chicken with the Democrats will backfire--that's why I'm calling on all the culture-warriors and the social justice voices--to recognize that as the Party of No, the Democrats must back off this showdown and pass all of our fiscal priorities quietly and quickly. Thank you."

He then fled the stage before the crowd could ask questions about the ACA-repeal or the president's tax returns.