Trump Wall Goes Up! [ ACTUAL PHOTO ]
The Trump administration, handed a set-back on their attempts to repeal Obamacare (the proposed bill was not good enough for Americans for moderates and way, way too good for conservatives), decided to change the narrative, unveiling what Press Secretary Sean Spicer described as an "actual photo" of the Trump-wall that was already going up along the Mexican border.
"The wall contains miles of high class shopping, internal and external sensor-nets, and even a set of built in I.C.E. prisons to house people trying to go over, under, or through it." Spicer told the press-corps, showing what some believed to be a badly photoshopped rendition of a "golden wall" at the Tijuana border.
"This wall was built and paid for by Trump himself--but Mexico is going to reimburse us--and the American people. You can be sure," Spicer said, reading from notes.
"Right now Trump is calling on patriotic Americans--especially those left hungry for work by the Obama job-destroying regulations--to head south--head to the border where you will be put to work completing this wall!"
When met with disbelief, Spicer told press members: "Don't you shake your heads! Don't you scoff--there are more cells in that wall for people like yourselves, you know!"
Senior Republicans familiar with the Trump budget and the Mexico-American border said that while "they were unaware of any such wall being built practically overnight, the 'spirit of the wall was in the air' and that the reports available showed that illegal immigration had dropped rapidly in the past two years."
"Trump gets the credit for that," said Republican Tom Cotton. "His relentless stance against unlawful immigration has led to a substantial decrease even as the wall itself goes up."
Asked if congress would allocate budget for the wall, Cotton was non-committal. "There are thousands, maybe millions of Americans willing to work on the job-saving barrier," he said. "We believe Trump's plan is to, as he has done before in cost-cutting operations, commission the work but then force the parties involved to litigate against him to receive remuneration. We consider that fiscally sound given that it is imperative that we increase defense spending and implement tax reduction for the wealthy."
Trump voter Allan Case of Indiana said that he had been out of work for the past three years due to plant closures for which he blamed Obama. "I would be honored to work on the wall," he said. "That's why we voted for Trump--to put Americans back to work!"
Asked if he was willing to "litigate for remuneration," Case stated that he felt certain that the Real Americans who did the work would be paid. "Maybe some illegals who try to horn in on our work might not receive payment," he said. "Their work would be shoddy--you know, Mr. Trump is a very astute business man." He also suggested that some minorities might also have trouble meeting the high standards the wall would require.
"But folks like me? The good solid Americans? We trust Mr. Trump. We know he's working for us!"