Trump Voter Desperately Hoping Fake News Is True

Avid Trump-voter Gary Owens of Frost Falls Idaho is desperately hoping at least some "fake news" turns out to be true.

"I'm really hoping something comes through today," Owens told RealTrueNews, "with all the stories out there, something's gotta hit. Doesn't it?" Owens is referring to a deluge of pro-Trump stories coming out of conservative media in the wake of the failure to have an AHCA vote to repeal Obamacare.

"Bill Mitchell is saying this is great strategy," Owens said, shifting nervously. "Like, remember when they didn't even give that judge [ Merrick Garland ] a vote? Maybe it's like that--maybe not even having the vote is better than passing a vote." Owens confessed he wasn't 'real sure' about how the fine points of government worked in this case. "I kinda slept through School House Rock," he admitted ruefully.

"Hannity is saying that there's real solid evidence that Obama bugged Trump--and after all those denials from talking-head lawmakers like Comey and that NSA guy on TV, that made me feel a lot better--but I kept waiting for it to be kinda confirmed. You know, when it gets 'so big even the MSM can't keep it a secret'?" He shook his head.

Other sources of information, he felt, were potentially more promising. "I follow a lot of the real-news, you know, the real facts without all the liberal spin," Owens told RealTrueNews. "They're saying that the Democrats were using illegal NSA and CIA spying tools during the campaign. Now I looked into it and even the author of the story was on the record saying it was fake--but I really feel there's something there. That whole #pizzagate thing? It felt right to me. So I'm just kind of hoping one of my ships comes in."

Owens said he has begun purchasing the National Enquirer because it makes him feel better when he is out grocery shopping. "It has all the headlines like Trump catches the White House Spy and Hillary is going to jail--all the stuff that Trump promised. When I watch the TV News," he said, using the term with disdain, "It's all about how Trump is a screw-up and people are laughing at us. I got some friends laughing at me--but they'll see."

He paused. "It's all gonna come out any day now--the pedophile thing, the Russian lie, the Obama-Treason, Hillary going to jail. It's gonna happen soon. It's like when I buy lottery tickets, right? I know that sooner or later I've gotta win. Right?"