Trump Admin Polls "War With North Korea"


When North Korea test-fired a barrage of potentially nuclear-tipped rockets into the Sea of Japan, the Trump administration sprang into action ordering veteran pollster Kellyanne Conway to "poll-test" a conflict with the hermit nation. The results of that poll, leaked to RealTrueNews, are startling.

"Trump was mostly concentrated on his voters--his base," said a senior source in the White House. "While war in the Asian-Pacific theater polled very poorly in general, his supporters were mostly unclear on where North and South Korea were and, with the exception of the alt-right, which was very concerned about maintaining the constant flow of anime pornography, were unclear what Japan did for them."

According to polling, while almost all television sets today are manufactured in Asia, Trump-supporters reported them as "coming from" Wallmart. Furthermore, among Trump supporters there was a 73% belief that a strike by Korea against Japan or South Korea would result in an overwhelming military response by the United States which would help unify the country.

"Trump has reached out to Clear Channel radio," our source told us, "to develop a 'patriotic play-list' that would saturate the airwaves to build support at home. He has also asked Fox News and OANN about the Breaking News graphics and potential chryons they would use during such an action. The initial surveys suggest this would poll very well so long as casualties were kept to Asians, a few heroic service members, and possibly California or Hawaii liberals."

The White House strategy team has been working frantically to come up with positive-connotation operations names for the conflict, apparently have decided on "The Avengers Initiative." They think if they can lure [ Secretary of State ] Rex Tillerson into the initial strike zone, they can position the entire engagement as righteous retaliation. The guy's practically useless anyway so it's not a big cost."

Asked about projections for the battle, possible repercussions with China, or Russia, and damage to American interests in the theater, the official said he was not sure. "Thus far the Pentagon and the State Department haven't been involved. The feeling is that we need to get the story-line down first before spending a lot of resources on this."

According to additional sources, if the Korean Engagement is successful polling-wise, a "Second Season" featuring China and Taiwan is under consideration.

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