Republicans Apoplectic: Obama on Set of 'West Wing,' Still Issuing 'Executive Orders'
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, flanked by White House Correspondent Sean Spicer and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan met with the press last night to issue a grave warning to Americans.
"It has become apparent," said a grim McConnell, "that ex-President Barack Hussein Obama, has visited a still standing set of the Oval Office designed for the Hollywood-Liberal TV show The West Wing and has, with the help of former staff, Organizing For America, and fifth-column elements inside the United States government, continued issuing so-called 'Executive Orders from a replica of the Resolute Desk."
"Furthermore, we have seen that despite being out of office and constitutionally ineligible to hold the executive office for a 3rd term thanks to the 22nd Amendment, these so-called Executive Orders are still being carried out by the Intelligence Community, some in the federal law-enforcement apparatus, existing staff in the White House, and the military."
"Even more concerning," he continued, "it has come to our attention that foreign leaders are meeting with--and directing policy-centric calls to this faux-Oval Office, wishing to speak with, and make decisions with Barack Obama."
"This must stop. It is tantamount to a coup and will not be tolerated."
When asked if they had any plans on what to do about President Obama, now a private citizen, allegedly "hanging out" on a movie set and "writing memos and taking phone calls," McConnell became agitated.
"We are looking in to all options--including so-called 2nd Amendment solutions, which are popular with our base. We are attempting to limit former-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's over-seas travel as, we have been given to understand, she is still being met with as though she, and not Exxon-Mobile CEO Rex Tillerson, were Secretary of State. We see her being praised in the foreign media as level-headed, knowledgeable about policy, seemingly less interested in profiteering off her position than our current Secretary of State. This simply cannot stand. It will not."
Ask for comment, Obama directed Actress Allison Janney to speak from the White House Press-Room set to the news outlets barred from President Trump's press-room (the NYT, BBC, LA Times, and other major media outlets which had sought to report on president Trump's alleged connections to Russia).
"There will be a non-partisan investigation into Mr. Trump and his team's meetings and conversations with Russia," she said, affecting the tone of her previous character Press Secretary C.J. Cregg. "We are working with federal law enforcement to maintain both our electoral security and faith and trust in American government."
Asked if the NBC TV set's office had any statements on the North Korea missile launch, Janney responded that there had been several calls from NATO allies asking for a coordinated theater response from both American Allies like Australia and Japan--as well as from the Chinese government. She assured reporters that the American military was closely monitoring the situation and that it was in the global interest to keep potential North Korean aggression contained and stabilized. She expressed faith in Mr. Obama's work with South Korea and re-affirmed NATO and America's commitment to keeping world order.
Attempts to reach president Trump for comment were unsuccessful due to a media embargo--however he did tweet this morning: