White House insiders are reporting that, stung by criticism of his Black History Month speech and upset with leaks over his international phone calls, Donald Trump has authorized a plan to attack former US ally Australia in order to "rescue Fredrick Douglas" whom Mr. Trump apparently believes is being held hostage there.
The leaked battle plan, involving the Russian Pacific Fleet and the USS Kitty Hawk and Independence Battle Groups, would attack northern Australia, establishing a "beach-head" and then expand out, with the intent of seizing what Mr. Trump believes to be natural fossil fuel resources (actually designated as radar installations) and attacking Australia naval assets.
The main thrust would be "Seal Team 7" (non-existent) sent via "Black Falcon" helicopter [Hawk?] to the center of the continent where Mr. Douglass is allegedly being held.
Sources familiar with the plan indicated that it was of vital importance to Mr. Trump that the conflict be resolved in time for the Super Bowl on February 5th. Given the current positions and readiness of the fleets in question, the current alliances between Australia and the United States, and the potential geo-political fall-out from a Russian naval attack on a NATO ally, sources in the Pentagon are said to be drawing up plans to report "Operational Success" to Mr. Trump and his cabinet while sadly revealing that attempts to return Mr. Douglass alive were unsuccessful.