Trump Lauds Deployment of New Russian 'PEACE TANK' Across Eastern Russia

In a surprise deployment that spread panic across NATO allies in the region, Vladimir Putin deployed the NATO Designated T-800 Plasma Tank revealing 20,000 units across the Russian border. Frantic analysts issued warnings noting that the T-800 has capabilities never seen before in a terrestrial weapon.

"The T-800 has some kind of portable Tokamak reactor powering dual energy weapons that look to us like line-of-sight plasma lances. Each one carries a 20kt yield Iskander mid-range ballistic missile. It may have other close range tactical capabilities of which we are unaware. The revealing of these discloses an immediate threat to the integrity and sovereignty of the west. We are looking for an immediate, forceful American response."

At 0800 this morning, once POETUS Trump had finished breakfast, they had one:

Journalist think that Trump may have been referring to an RT (formerly Russia Today) story about the so-called 'Mir Tankov' (Peace Tank) wherein Vladimir Putin claimed that the tanks were to be used to fight International Terror and would ensure stability which failing American power had ceased to provide. In the RT report, the tank was said to have "life-saving medical capabilities" and something called "job creator banks." It was also said to be equipped with a 'force field.'"

Glenn Greenwald enthused on Fox News about the deployment of a "weapon of war" that could "actually provide health care" as a break through that capitalism had failed to provide and the west had turned a blind eye to. "It is no surprise," Greenwald told the audience, echoing Russian news-service Sputnik, "that under the corrupt so-called democratic governments of the west would never be considered."

Other reports indicate that Germany, France, and Brussels have started teaching Russian in primary schools and China is constructing a second great wall.