Intrepid #Pizzagate Investigators Save Victims, Voat Reports

Internet sleuths on the Reddit-Like site Voat Pizzagate subverse rescued hundreds of human-trafficked children they reported, following a daring assault by a patriot armed with an AR-15. Comet pizza, located in Washington DC, was, according to postings, a major node in a pedophile organization reaching the highest levels of government and the Democratic organization.

According to posts on Voat, the gunman, following the lead of video-bloggers who manged to release a taped confession by the owner on film, stormed the compound, valiantly rescuing hundreds of victims kept in a secret, subterranean dungeon beneath the "Birthday Party room."

Voat reported that the mountain of evidence for this successful raid--despite major media outlets refusing to acknowledge the existence of the secret vault, the 100's of victims, the confession, and the successful engagement by the gun-man, will surely lead to more--and hopefully bloodier--liberations at pizza parlors across the nation.

We spoke with Voat member OckhamsPhasor about this operation.

RealTrueNews: All we've heard is that a guy went in, shot some rounds off, and got arrested. Is there evidence that he actually rescued anyone?

OckhamsPhasor: The evidence for this successful attack is overwhelming. The media is obviously afraid of what will happen if the story gets out and their sacred cows--counting Hillary and Nancy Pelosi who are certainly bovine--are gored! That's why they're hiding it. They're scared.

RTN: So--can you point us to any of these rescued children? Where are they?

OP: The same place as the Sandy Hook 'victims' I'd bet. Nothing is beyond these monsters.

RTN: So--were--the rescued kids killed?

OP: Or, maybe they were crisis actors. We need more investigation and we're calling for a non-partisan investigation from the highest levels of government. Maybe Sheriff Clarke?

RTN: Wait--wait: were children rescued or not?

OP: They were. Hundreds. There's a vast underground dungeon network. It actually links other pizzarias in the area to facilitate moving victims around.

RTN: How do you know this?

OP: Reports. Eye-witness reports. We also know it from analysis of sewer mains, released records from the City Planning office, and architectural blueprints of nearby buildings.

RTN: You have architectural blueprints?

OP: Yes. Look.

RTN: That's the Dungeons and Dragons S1 Module Tomb of Horrors.

OP: It's a tomb of horrors all right.

RTN: You're claiming--what? That this structure is under the city, that there where hundreds of . . . kids? Actor-Kids? Missing Kids?

OP: They were abducted, yes. Trafficked.

RTN: But they're safe now?

OP: The evidence is overwhelming.

RTN: So if they were abducted, rescued, and are safe--where are they?

OP: We need further investigation of that. There's a cover-up, obviously.

RTN: Obviously? What's the evidence of this cover-up?

OP: The evidence: "Where's the children"?? Duh. You watch too much Mainstream Media.

RTN: Yeah. Clearly.