Richard Spencer Undertakes Quest To Determine What Made Nazis 'Cool'

Just hours after winning the 2016 presidential election, White House strategist Stephen Bannon reached out to alt-right guru Richard Spencer, asking him to undertake a dangerous secret mission to determine what it was that gave the Nazis their psychic power. We have learned that an encrypted phone was flown by special agents to Whitefish Montana where Spencer lives, brooding in his defensive compound, meditating on the White Identity until such a time as the final showdown of the races would come.

Bannon's message: IT HAS BEGUN.

A source familiar with the conversation stated that Bannon has been working on how to take his alt-right white-nationalism to the "next level." Stymied by a "liberal press" that has "nothing good to say about Nazis or White Supremacists," Bannon is now leveraging his power in the Trump White House to seek out the legendary: 'Gefrorenen Gräber'--the cold-storage cavern where, as it became apparent to Hitler that he would lose the war, he entombed a legion of his SS shock-troops suspended in some kind of cryogenic storage to be awakened by future generations who would carry on his racial cleansing.

Although doubted by most historians to even exist--not to mention being technically unfeasible--Bannon told Spencer that if he could locate the "Frozen Tomb" he could, perhaps, awaken the legion of Nazis who would have retained all or most of their memories and be at the "height of their Aryan Powers."

"We could then determine what it was that made them so irresistible to the populace," Bannon is said to have told Spencer. "Only you can do this--I believe that the tomb's defenses would crush the mind of a lesser man."

According to our source, Bannon paused, "If we can't figure out what it was that gave them their 'oomph,' perhaps we could, at least, get a bunch of them into congress. God knows we could use some back-up against that weasel Ryan."

Spencer, donning his long-retired black leather trench-coat adorned with polished, silver lightning-bolt S's on the lapels, is said to have started out under a gray threatening sky and a cold rain.

The underground location of the Frozen Tomb relayed by Bannon, he would have to travel alone, perhaps only during the journey winning the love and assistance of a blond 2% body-fat Nordic girl trained as a nurse, and raised in a liberal household--coming along after having seen the raw, swollen power of the great Occidental Truth and submitting herself to its puissant doctrine.

When The Resistor asked noted WWII Historian and specialist professor Richard J. Evans of the Cambridge University's Modern History department about the rise of Nazism and it's hold over the German populace, he told us:

It's really very simple: The populace was convinced they were victimized external forces and internal minorities. When inflamed by a talented demagogue they were easily duped into believing whatever made them feel the most self-righteous.

Oh--and fashion sense. The Nazis, above all else, really, really knew how to dress. Where the alt-right falls down today is in their ability to project anything other than surly teenage-angst. I mean, look, Spencer is obviously doing the best he can to mimic a Nazi hair-style--but if he actually did find a cache of improbably frozen Nazi super-soldiers? They'd barbecue him.

According to our source, Stephen Bannon, his agent, Richard Spencer, dispatched to the lost underground bunkers of WWII Germany, sits and waits, brooding, and looking out the windows at the gathering storm.