Stephen Bannon Orders Powerful Cleaning Agent To Help With Refugees

Stephen Bannon, president elect's probable chief of staff, has ordered a new hygiene initiative to assist incoming refugees from war-torn regions such as Syria or Somalia. Speaking to a Resistor reporter posing as a member of the alt-right, Bannon said:

They're filthy. These people coming over from who knows where. They're filthy and they need to be cleaned--cleansed. We're going to do that. Nobody knows how the refugee system works anyway. They believed--they really believed--that the administration was letting in people it couldn't verify rather than taking two years to only let in people with verifiable records. Ha!

No one knows where the refugees get settled--and no one cares so long as it isn't near them. These "refugees" will dump garbage out of windows, put dead cats in the trash compactors, and they don't even know how to use flush toilets. In Europe there has to be, like signs.

Trust me, people don't want these animals anywhere near them. We're going to clean them right up.

When asked about his procedure, Bannon detailed a series of "underground clean-rooms" at 'friendly' I.C.E. centers where refugee families would be taken for what he described as de-lousing showers using a cleansing agent he said had been very helpful in Germany (which he described as having a refugee 'infestation' that was "out of control").

While refusing to speak on the record about what exactly would be done with the resettlement plans afterward, he did say with a grim chuckle: "You've heard of 'Not In My Back Yard'? We'll we're going further than that. Not in anybody's back yard. THAT's how you make America Great Again."