Obama Orders ISIS to 'Take Out' Trump

Hillary is about to go to jail with the re-opened FBI investigation. Her campaign staff has either quit--or gone missing. Obama is seeing his "orderly transition of power" about to be disordered by a Trump Landslide. What he has done, according to people inside the situation room, is order ISIS to use mothballed assets (read: assassins, terrorists) inside the United States to target Donald Trump.

Our contact said that the mission group was stunned when Obama ordered a satellite link to be opened directly to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the terrorist group leader.

He had the guy's satellite communications coordinates and everything--just right there. We were stunned. He opens up the link, gets a video feed . . . it was clear these guys had talked before. He starts--Obama starts--issuing orders. He's telling this guy to contact his terror-cells--which he had by name--and ordering them into position. He even says he wants the all-female squad because it'll be 'social justice' for them to get Trump.

How did the other cabinet members and White House staff take this?

We were stunned, obviously. Things have been going to hell inside the White House for some time but since the FBI reveal it's been frantic. He says Obamacare hasn't had time to reach its final stage yet and he's furious that they might repeal it before it does. He also wants Hillary to keep dismantling the military. He has a lot of stuff left undone. He blames the House for that.

Nobody said anything--I mean, it--it was scary. People have disappeared for less. Been replaced with Crisis Actors who kind of looked like them. It's spooky. So this guy--the freakin' head of ISIS, is just taking orders, writing stuff down--okay, yes sir. Yes sir. Like that. And then he turns to us. He has this whole coordinated vision: cops will stand down. The FBI will be called off. He wants like a seven block "law-black-out" around the Tower. I don't know man. People are maybe going to make it happen. I just don't know.

I took all my vacation time yesterday. I'm laying low until this whole thing is over.

It is our understanding that team of expert sniper female assassins wearing head-garb inscribed with Islamic mystical scripts designed to make them invisible to men and immune to bullets are on the movie using AK-47s and bullets painted with Charlie Sheen's blood (collected clandestinely in the drug-fueled orgies the liberal celebrity regularly holds). We are given to understand that this team of women--who only ever show their faces when operating in disguises, are genetically bred to be beautiful enough to literally stun--periodically stop the heart--of any man who fully meets their eyes.

These women could go through a Secret Service security force like a hot knife through butter. We understand that Trump has some women body-guards trained in elite MMA combat who might stand a chance--but it's a slim one. Especially if they don't know it's coming.

Well, they know it's coming now. If anyone sees or hears anything, please, let the Trump security team know As Soon As Possible!!