The Beast Rises


Yesterday a person (?) claiming to be Ben Collins of the aptly named "Daily Beast" attempted to penetrate our enterprise claiming to be a "reporter" and trying to entrap us into a security-breaking interview. Fortunately they got no further than our web-master--but we were alerted to the nature of the threat.

Using a cover-name identical to the Top Gear racer (who we love) this person (?) made contact and immediately used social engineering to extract a personal encrypted email from our easily duped web-master (who we think harbors liberal sensibilities that are thankfully mitigated by his technically inclined semi-autistic personality).

What we got was a "Spear Phising" email that attempted to get us to divulge personal contact information. Normally we would never answer such an email--however the idea that a modern, web-based "blogo-zine" was operating openly under the Name of The Beast gave even us pause. Brazen.

Clearly liberal, we started reverse engineering the email we were sent and we discovered something interesting. In the SMTP headers (usually invisible) there were three codes:

  • 5.5.263

  • 805.653.285

  • 2630.2098.281

At first we thought those might be the IP-addresses that determine email routing through the Internet but our web master told us the numbers were somehow 'wrong' for that. We asked our occult specialist Lex Icon whether there was any significance to them.

He said he knew immediately what they were. The answer is gruesome.

Extended Letter Sequences and The Bible Code

If you remember a few years back there were mathematicians doing work on finding secret messages encoded in the bible. The method for doing this took the text and looked at sequences of letters embedded at regular intervals. The code index looks like this [ absolute start, searchable character start, and interval ]. Lex pointed out that these could be ELS-codes sent by someone--a mole--inside The Beast's operation. The problem was: what was the text.

We tried a few versions of The Bible and found nothing--but after we sent back a coded message to whoever the sender was, our web master informed us that The Beast had struck. Claiming that RealTrueNews was full of lies (the irony) they "published" a "story" trying to discredit us.

Lex ran that through an ELS program and this is what he found:

THE

WHORE

RISES

It's right there, encoded in his very article. A message from the inside warning us about what Hillary Clinton portends. Don't be fooled by charlatans. Don't be fooled by false prophets. Don't be afraid.

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