Young-Blood Vampire to Purchase Gawker Media

EDIT: Our attempts to verify the science here have been inconclusive to put it mildly. We are leaving the story here but consider it for research purposes only. Our science experts thinks that the person claiming to be Dr. Greggory Church was "talking shit" and our legal experts note that Mr. Peter Thiel, for whom we have the greatest respect, sues regularly.

Peter Theil wants to live forever. He plans to create a "blood bank" of effeminate young men to help him do it. That, at least, is what we've been hearing. When we looked into it, what we found was incredible, disturbing, and hard to understand.

Our sources have informed us that even as Peter Thiel, the billionaire entrepreneur behind PayPal and Facebook, was speaking at the Republican National Convention, he was engaged in a plan to make a straw-purchase of the Gawker Media empire that he had driven to bankruptcy.

Our source explained that once he attained a controlling interest from behind the scenes he would increase the rate of stories with encoded neuro-linguistic messaging designed to create generations of so-called "Beta-Male" men. These men, lacking in the regular brain-chemistry that defines an classical "male" would be a source of low-testosterone, high 'telomerase' that he would 'feed off of' to prolong his lifespan indefinitely.

We could barely make sense of that so we spoke with Dr. Greggor Church, formerly of the Harvard Medicine School's Life Extension program to help us make sense of it.

RealTrueNews: Can you tell us how you came to be fired from the cutting edge, some would say secret, life extension program at Harvard?

Dr. Greggor Church: I was fired for releasing conclusive research into Human Biodiversity--the study of how different human-being's genetics impact their capabilities. There is an unwritten rule about studying this: it's a forbidden topic of research in academia.

RTN: Why?

DGC: Because the findings are consistent and conclusive: certain genetic clusters--what you might think of as 'racial groupings' have different genetic potentials when it comes to things like cognitive capability, self-control, and so on.

RTN: Okay . . . What about this "Young Blood-Vampire Thing" we've heard about. Can you explain that? Maybe . . . more slowly?

DGC: Back in 2012 experiments were showing that infusions of blood from younger organisms to older ones could halt or even reverse some aspects of aging. The active ingredients were thought to be an enzyme called telomerase, testosterone balance, and a few other unidentified chemical agents. Telomerase is the enzyme that helps DNA replicate in biological systems. It cuts down on errors. You lose in your body's telomeres over time leading to your body, which is constantly rebuilding itself, slowly falling apart. We think of this process as "aging." The "young blood" helped replenish it.

RTN: So taking blood infusions from young people help you . . . live forever?

DGC: Not that simple--not nearly. But yes, kind of. If you had a large enough pool of exactly the right kind of blood, access to the emerging CRISPR gene-therapies to catalyze the process, and so on--then yes. Maybe. It's still in the theoretical stage.

RTN: But Peter Theil is interested?

DGC: He was a massive investor. We also took a lot of genetic samples from him. One size doesn't fit all for this--there are steep compatibility issues. That's why--if what you say is true--he would need a population of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people to draw from.

RTN: Can you explain that?

DGC: I'll try. When we upped the telomerase in rats we reversed aging--but we got aggressive cancers. It killed them in days. When we catalyzed with testosterone which usually helps, the results were worse. We had a breach incident with a CRISPR-engineered virus that was so hot it wiped out an entire lab in six hours. Thiel had to spend around 3 million to cover it up.

What we found was that a certain combination of low-T young men with exactly the right combination of blood-markers could limit the cancers while greatly repairing telomeres. In other words, we needed a big population of what you would call "Beta Males."

RTN: We're lost.

DGC: Simple pack-theory. Humans self-sort by alphas, like Thiel and other titans-of-industry, sports heroes, and so on. There are a lot of people who then fall in the average rage for humanity--but at the lower end are the betas. These are low confidence men. We see them in the social sciences. They're generally unable to attract females. They tend to argue a lot on the internet.

This beta-male population has historically been smallish. They don't easily reproduce. They have low prospects and earning power, not to mention low self-esteem. They get picked on a lot. But it turns out, these beta-males were exactly what we needed to harvest blood from.

RTN: Males. What about women?

DGC: In this theory women are basically P-Zombies. Emotional machines that sometimes mimic logic.

RTN: What?? Zombies??

DGC: Never mind. What we needed was a program to increase the social viability of the beta-male. That meant having a broad societal pressure against normal, masculine men. That meant taking on . . . a lot of structures. Things like Gamer Culture had to be torn down. Movies and books--especially science fiction--had to be co-opted: Military Science Fiction is the epitome of the alpha male.

So in order to grow the "crop" there needed to be media outlets that appealed to White Knights. To SJWs. There needed to be pro-feminist messaging--which has been shown to actually pro-actively lower testosterone in men--that was pervasive.

If what you are saying is true, Gawker was going a long way in that direction already. I'd expect it to pick up the pace. Wonkette was sold off--but I'd keep an eye on them too. They're text-book for this. They're read by a lot of beta--or near-beta men hoping to get insight into picking up women.

RTN: Okay. I'm not sure we understood any of that--but it's gross and scary, so thank you for your time!

DGC: Do you pay for interviews? For this information.

RTN: We do not. But we assure your anonymity.

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