Gingrich Has Working Islam Test: Guess Who Won't Take It!

Newt Gingrich, a onetime hopeful for Trump's vice presidency has revealed a working test that can determine if a person "believes in [ Islamist ] Sharia Law." The test uses advances in cranial imaging which determine if the person asked is using their brain to fabricate an answer or is responding authentically. When we talked with Mr. Gingrich, he described it as follows:

"The test uses both external cues such as micro-expressions, heart-rate, and skin galvanic response--combined with a state of the art CAT-Scan like technology and references it against a 'decision forest' neural network that has been taught to distinguish truth from lies. In my double-blind tests, I was able to identify Muslim radicals and distinguish them from, for example, Black Lives Matter terrorists, a person sympathetic to the Weather Underground, and even run of the mill Democrats and liberals."

"This is a breakthrough in science our founding fathers never could have envisioned. If they'd had this, for example, Benedict Arnold would have relieved of duty long before he could switch sides."

Gingrich said he had already tested all Republican members of congress and cleared them--but Democrats, and especially Barack Hussein Obama were "cowering" behind the 4th Amendment, refusing to pass the security check.

The technology, which Gingrich, an inventor in the spirit of Benjamin Franklin, had developed in his garage, will change the way that security checks are handled and would have prevented, for example, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton from ever coming within arms reach of sensitive data.

"What is Obama hiding?" Gingrich asked. Then added: "Well, that's rhetorical, I guess. I mean, we all know."