You've seen the riots. You've read the #hashtag--you've learned that today it isn't All Lives that Matter--only some. Black ones. You knew this was racist but you were, rightly, afraid to say anything. The Speech Police are real these days and they're out for blood (so long as it's white blood). At Real True News we aren't afraid: we went out on The Street to find one of these #BLM people and find out just how deep his racism goes.
This is our report.
RealTrueNews: "Sir! Sir--do you think that Black Lives Matter?"
Interviewee: "Excuse me?"
RTN: "Do you think that Black Lives Matter. Like the hashtag?"
I: "Yes. I do. Do . . . you?"
RTN: "Indeed we do--which is why we're concerned about black-on-black crime. Do you know who is more likely to kill you? A police officer or a black thug?"
I: "What? Look, I don't have time for--"
RTN: "The stats are clear. Would you like to hear them? All your rhetoric is focused on the police when it should be on your own community. Right? I mean, statistically speaking?"
I: "My community? Wait--you're saying that black people who want to reduce violent crime should focus on the prevention of violent crime instead of unwarranted violence by police officers?"
RTN: "Exactly. This is a clean-up your own house first before going after someone else's situation, isn't it?"
I: "Who is supposed to prevent violent crime in America?"
RTN: "All individuals are responsible for their own actions, aren't they?"
I: "They are--but aren't police supposed to be the social agency that protects us from violent crime?"
RTN: "Yes. Which is why you should show them some respect--"
I: "So if we have a case where the police are killing unarmed non-resisting people isn't that a problem?"
RTN: "Not statistically. Black-on-Black crime is much--"
I: "But if police are expected to help lower the rate of crime in communities but are instead more focused on things like writing traffic tickets to fund the local government or serve warrants based on non-payment of tickets, isn't that actually a vastly contributing factor to community crime?"
RTN: "One of several. How about families without fathers? How about 3rd Generation welfare--"
I: "Those are all bad, sure--but none of those are mechanisms that act directly against violent crime. The police are--or are supposed to be. If we're going to stop community crime, shouldn't we want more police? More law enforcement?"
RTN: "Yes, exactly--but you--"
I: "Well, then I think it's pretty clear that things need to be improved to establish more trust. Like Dallas' de-escalation training. Like body cameras. Like civilian oversight boards. All things that #BLM advocates. Isn't that what we should want to address 'black-on-black crime statistics?' "
[ Ed. Note: Clean this up before running. Make it more authentic sounding instead of just transcribing it. ]