Hillary's Excuse to FBI: A YouTube Video!!


Disgruntled agents at the FBI have leaked the transcripts of what Hillary said in her 4 hour interrogation on Saturday the 2nd. Speaking with FBI Director James Comey, Clinton was asked to explain her use of an unsecured homebrew email server and her willingness to send and receive secret information without proper security measures in place.

This is a partial transcript of the documents provided.

AGENT 1: You knew the server lacked proper security measures.

CLINTON: Oh, yes.

AGENT 1: And that did not trouble you? At all?

CLINTON: I was told not to worry about it.

AGENT 1: By who?

CLINTON: The voice in the video.

AGENT 2: The voice in the video?

CLINTON: Oh, yes.

AGENT 1: I don't understand. Whose voice? What video?

CLINTON: The YouTube Video--the one we all watch. [ Makes shape of a LETTER 'U' in air ]

AGENT 2: Who all watches?

CLINTON: Oh, Bill. Myself. Young Huma. Chelsea. All my staff. That Mook boy . . .

AGENT 1: What does the voice say?

CLINTON: Secret things.

AGENT 1: It told you to use a private server?

CLINTON: It did. That's where I get the emails.

AGENT 1: What emails?

CLINTON: From the Voice.

AGENT 2: Someone on the YouTube video sends you emails?

CLINTON: Oh, yes. And I have to keep them off government servers. Or else.

AGENT 1: Or else what? Are you being threatened.

CLINTON: We are all being threatened.

AGENT 2: What does this video look like?

CLINTON: Like a video, I suppose.

AGENT 2: Could you please describe it to us?

CLINTON: Oh, well, it has static and scan lines. It's mostly black except for some words. Those are in white.

AGENT 2: What words?

CLINTON: Oh . . . Lacunae. Anamnesis, Memory Hole. Words like that.

AGENT 1: I think we're done here.

CLINTON: Oh--we aren't.

AGENT 1: No?

CLINTON: I want you to Listen.

AGENT 2: We told you not to bring any recording devices.

AGENT 1: Please remove the--

CLINTON: Listen.

[ Sound of Static ]

AGENT 1: I see.

AGENT 2: Understood. We understand, Mrs. Secretary.

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