Orlando Attack Destroys Obama

Today Obama received a stinging rebuke from the American public for his inability to hold ISIS responsible for the Orlando Attack. The president's job approval ratings, which had been an unbelievable 50% (higher than Ronald Reagan's, if we're expected to believe any of that) flash-crashed today when it became clear that the POTUS could not utter the words "Islamic State" or "Islamic Terror" and could, instead, only discuss gun control.

The crash was reported on real-time polling boards for IPOS/Reuters, FOX News, and NBC/Survey Monkey. All of them showing the same dramatic decline:

"It was dramatic," said Huffington Pollster Matthew Morris. "I've never seen anything like it except for Rick Perry's debate collapse. That was terminal."

"Even his first-Romney-Debate drop wasn't that . . . catastrophic," Nate Silver, head of statistics site fivethirtyeight tweeted.

Indeed, Larry Sabato, of the University of Virginia's Center for Politics held that while we have not had real-time presidential approval polling in past administrations, this sort of crash, if not immediately corrected, would probably be fatal for the Democrats in November.

"Presidential election fundamentals," said Sabato, "heavily correlate with the incumbent's approval rating. Above 50% is nearly a guaranteed victory for their party, other indicators, such as the economy, being neutral. A decline like this, shows that the nation has, collectively, opened its eyes and lost faith in the president to lead us in this crisis--or anywhere at all, for that matter."

Counter-terror experts, shocked at the presidential incompetence, noted that to defeat ISIS--also know as IS (the Islamic State), Daesh, and ISIL--it must be properly named, or else we cannot hope to prevail.