Hillary Indictment Lands!

Former House Majority Leader Tom Delay announced today that the Federal Bureau of Investigation has recommended Felony Criminal charges against Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton for her use of an unauthorized, insecure server during her time as Secretary of State. There has been no immediate response from the Clinton campaign however President Barack Hussein Obama will address the nation tonight at 9:30 PM from the Oval Office and is expected to announce that he can no longer endorse her as a candidate and that pending investigation, she will suspend her campaign.

The final nail in the presidential hopeful's coffin was the release of data pertaining to Top Secret operations going on in the field dealing with drone strikes.The FBI announced at mid-day that it had found sufficient criminal evidence to conclude the investigation.

Insiders tell us that the long-standing enmity between the president and Clinton, reaching back to their 2008 nomination battle, has finally come to a head. "There will be no pardon," the closely placed source told us. "He's happy to see her go, honestly--since he thinks he can beat Trump with just about anyone."

Just about anyone is, the insider tells us, none other than Michelle Obama--who will be presented at the nomination with running-mate Al Sharpton.