Bond Markets, rocked by a US-China trade war, doubts about the strength of US manufacturing, and a drop in consumer confidence pulled an exciting and hitherto unseen Inverted Immelmann when the 2-year bond rapidly inverted, rose sharply, and then adjusted its yield-rates for previous trades in a fashion that has flummoxed even veteran bond traders.
"Technically it means--technically, well, it should not be--excuse me, I have to go," said Lloyd Bellman a Sr. Analyst at HSBC.
Former bond trader Chris Arnade whose recently released book Dignity on the class gulf in America has made him more media accessible had this to say:
"What the bond markets are trying to tell here is that some kind of time-travel paradox violation may be occurring if the results are not attributed to computer hacking or, say, an Act of God. More interesting, this particular move is known more correctly as an S-Split and is used in aerial combat to disengage from an enemy. I would read this market change as the 2-year bond saying 'Imma get the hell out of doge' . . . whatever that means."
Reached at a Brooklyn McDonald's where Arnade was advising his client "T-Dawg" on a number of possible portfolio moves, we were able to hear the man requesting a deeper investment in Medical Marijuana since "All them egg-heads on Wall Street were losing their shit over this."
Other analysts, while perplexed and somewhat existentially horrified, described it as a dramatic maneuver perhaps indicating the 2-Year bond's preference for Air Shows and recommended playing the Euro-Rock band Scorpions' Rock You Like A Hurricane on trading floors in an attempt to appease the time-traveling 2-year bonds.
"It makes as much sense as anything else right now," said an inside source who requested to remain anonymous. "I mean, nothing makes sense."